13.08.19

i love writing. pen to paper is fancy font or just random scribbles. i am not one that can talk a lot when you see me (unless you are really really close to me and don't mind a whole lot of things that don't mean too much) but i really love writing. 

but life, life is not so kind to me. somehow i seldom find the time to randomly write things down. i am unsure if its because i am lazy (this i do not deny), or that my perfectionist attitude that is holding me back from creating anything near creative or the fact that technology has left me with nothing to write. every now and then when i am bored i would just pick up a pen and an article, be it the newspaper or a random poem online and i would write the words over and over again in different handwriting #justbecause. i do miss the days back in school where we had to write notes. it mde me happy - the writing, not the exams or assignments of course. 

it seems the new trend to keep track of your life which includes tons of cute stationery was bullet journaling. i tried it to track my habits and it lasted for a month. literally 30 days. only. once the month was up i didn't even get to drawing up the table for the next months tracking. heh. i wonder is it because i was ocd or i was afraid that it was going to look ugly that i just didnt take to it that much. i am also super kiam with my stationary that all i used were 3 pens and a pencil to 'decorate' the page. i don't know if its my perfectionist self that i do not want to do anything more. as far as i am concern, i can't draw, don't paint and won't be able to commit to it (because even after so long i somehow still have commitment issues in every aspect of my life).

so here i am. on a platform that i used to know relatively well, attempting to do this all over again. hopefully i will be better at this than i was with pen and paper.

wish me luck!